I’ve been formally learning Spanish for 9 years now, and something I still struggle with is knowing who to address formally and who to address informally. Depending on which dialect you’re speaking, there can be anywhere between 2-3 different levels of formality—all the way from “hey bruh” to “yes, your majesty”—each with their own set of verb conjugations, pronouns, and cultural connotations. I always trip over which one to use when. 

Although we have different levels of formality in English, they are more indicated by a change in tone or vocabulary—not by a grammatical difference in pronouns or conjugations. 

The two most common pronouns—tú and usted—are the ones that give me the most trouble. Usted is the formal pronoun and comes from a contraction of the word vuestra merced which means “your grace”. It was used in medieval Spain purely to refer to anyone who was somehow connected to the monarchy. It is also used as a sign of inferiority on the part of the speaker. I use usted to recognize that the person I am talking to is of a superior social rank or to show respect. Tú, on the other hand, is mostly used to denote peership. If I use tú, in most cases that means that I and the person I am speaking to are social equals. We are on the same level. 

Last week, one of my friends invited me to go to Mass with her in Spanish. I had been to a Spanish Mass before but it had been a couple of years and I desperately needed a way to be practicing more Spanish—use it or lose it, am I right?

As the liturgy started, I was taken aback—God was purely referred to with the tú pronouns, the informal pronouns of equality and relationship. What? Isn’t God our king? Why do we use informal pronouns?

This was especially evident as we got to the Lord’s Prayer or “Padre Nuestro” as it is called in Spanish. It goes:

Padre nuestro que estás en el cielo,

santificado sea tu Nombre;

venga a nosotros tu Reino;

hágase tu voluntad

en la tierra como en el cielo.

Danos hoy

nuestro pan de cada día;

perdona nuestras ofensas,

como también nosotros perdonamos

a los que nos ofenden;

no nos dejes caer en la tentación,

y líbranos del mal.

Tuyo es el reino, tuyo el poder y la gloria por siempre Señor

The bolded parts are all of the tú conjugations throughout the prayer. There is nothing in the prayer that smacks of formality, of us referring to God as being above us. Instead, we refer to God as a friend. 

Technically, we have this in English as well. Before it became obsolete, thou was the informal pronoun with its own different set of verb conjugations as opposed to the formal you. (If you want to learn more about this difference, look up the Battle of Hastings and the Norman occupation of England.)

Anyways, here’s the same prayer in English with the bolded, informal grammatical structures we use for God. 

Our Father who art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done on earth,

as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil:

For thine is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory,

without end, amen. 

Although we don’t use thou in regular conversation anymore, the informal, close, and personal relationship to God is still evident in the way that we pray even if we are not aware of it. Additionally, the bolded verbs are technically commands. In this prayer that Jesus taught us, we are so informal with God that in English (and in Spanish!) we can use the command conjugations when we pray. There’s no beating about the bush. We straight up tell God what it is we need. 

I’ve always grown up in environments that have stressed the importance of a personal relationship with God, of bringing our full selves to him, including our faults and our worries. That’s also been something that I, personally, have struggled with. I have a tendency to see God as a formal judge, distant and removed from my daily life. God doesn’t care about the fact that I am stressed about school—he’s too busy doing God stuff. 

I isolate myself from God by putting him up on a pedestal of formality. 

This prayer, in both languages, shatters that assumption. God is not a distant judge, far off and unreachable. God is not a king who is looking out, making sure we constantly use the right pronouns to denote respect. God is here with us now and, through Jesus, makes us his sons. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, we have become intimate with God. That mere fact alone is enough to chew on for the rest of my life. 

What’s more, these prayers are ancient. The fact that the prayer in English still has the archaic versions of pronouns and verb conjugations points to the fact that it has been prayed this way for centuries. Although this idea of a close, personal God is new to me, it is not at all new to our brothers and sisters who have gone before us. They knew and prayed to a close, personal God just as I do, no matter what language, culture, or Christian tradition. God is here with us and makes himself known to us, even in things as small as informal pronouns.