Disclaimer: I had a hard time writing this post. This is a topic that’s close to my heart, and pouring it out into writing that will be on the internet is vulnerable. It’s hard. So please have grace. Read with an open heart. There’s a lot more to unpack here, so think of this as a part one. 

Growing up, I never felt the need to conform to this world in a lot of ways. One way this showed was how different I was from the other girls in my life. I grew up with brothers. I never liked skirts or dresses. I loved getting dirty playing sports outside. I thrived in fields that were traditionally male – athletics, STEM, leadership. These characteristics shaped who I became friends with, what I went after, and how I perceived my worth in this world. This identity was and still is important and cannot be separated from who I am.

I know the tide is changing, and the world we’re currently in is different than the one I grew up in a decade ago. However, I was shaped by this silent acknowledgement and social norm. I first had ideas about feminism when I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. Young, right? It wasn’t thanks to my woke education or strong willed parents, it’s because of the ways I didn’t feel I “fit in” in this world. In middle school I especially felt this. This is when I started asking questions about what it means to be female in the lens of God’s Word. Once I started high school, these ideas and questions evolved into something more complex. I learned about feminism movements, put words to concepts like female empowerment, and followed female-led ministries. I started understanding this world shaped by history that sometimes felt like a barrier rather than a playing field for me to thrive.

I often get questions from peers and younger sisters about what a woman’s role should be like in the church according to the Bible. I don’t think that’s a demeaning way of putting it, because men also have a role in the church, and God has given all of us  a purpose here on Earth. As we search for this purpose, all our identities play a role in shaping our character — our gender is no different. Like all things, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. We can only become our greatest selves when we allow God to shape us into who he’s planned for us to be.

We know that God created man and woman to be different from one another. The key is just that – they are different. You can think about this the same way some say early feminism fell short. When women tried to measure up to their male counterparts in every aspect in life, they slowly realized they were setting the wrong goals. To me, female empowerment isn’t about me wanting to be all that a man wants to be, it’s about me being able to reach my highest potential and have the opportunities of my male peers. Similarly, when we talk about spiritual things, we should have this same goal: how can we each individually reach our highest potential to allow the body of Christ to achieve what Jesus intended for us on earth today? 

There are people who say things like this: “The Bible and Christianity is sexist.” or “God created man to be greater than woman.” or “How can you believe in female empowerment and feminism and the Bible at the same time?”

When I face questions like that, I think about the moments when the Bible glorifies women for their love, leadership, and reliability. There are countless examples of women doing bold and courageous things for the Kingdom. More obvious examples include Queen Esther, Ruth, Jesus’ mother Mary, Martha in the New Testament, and more. But there are countless other women, many of whom are unnamed, who have supported ministry in whatever counter-cultural method the Spirit was moving in those times. Mary poured her jar of ointment to clean Jesus’ feet (John 12). Rahab hid Joshua’s spies in Jericho (Joshua 2). Priscilla led alongside Aquila in Ephesus (Acts 18). The Samaritan woman at the well gave Jesus water (John 4). Moses’ mother shaped him to be a future leader (Exodus 2).  The poor widow offered all she had (Mark 12). And we cannot forget Mary Magdalene who wept before Jesus’ tomb after his disciples had left (John 20). Although these women were by no means perfect in their walk with God, their strength was worth remembering, mentioning, and honoring. This doesn’t speak about women as less, but God as over all, enabling women to be more than. 

I’ve prayed some hard prayers before. Especially on this topic. God, why is it like this? Why can’t women speak in the Church? Why is your Word the way that it is? How should I interpret these parts of the Bible? Maybe that’s a controversial thing to say, but it’s the truth. It’s the truth about me struggling to see God’s sovereignty in things that I’m trying to make sense out of. It’s the truth about my hard heart being slowly shaped by God. It’s the truth that I want to believe the entire Bible and not just the parts that I like. It’s all of that and more. 

There are moments when I really don’t have the answers. But when looking at my life, and the life of my fellow sisters, and observing how God’s moved in our lives, I cannot deny his grace bestowed upon us. He has not given us less than what we need. Rather, he has given us better than what we could imagine! What I can say is God, I’m trying. Here, I’m placing my faith in your Word, in your goodness, and your sovereignty. 

If you’ve felt frustrated, confused, or struggling to answer those questions, you’re not alone. But like with anything in Christ, we can only gain the Spirit by grace and through faith. Pray those hard prayers. Have those tough conversations. Talk to others on this journey (me!). Find out what the Bible really says.